Now it's my turn: The end

It's fun even when it's messy
or
I hate the candelabra over the tub

This will probably be my last post for awhile. I'm glad it's a good one :)

Today was a mostly relaxing Sunday. Andrew still doesn't do well alone the nursery, so I opted to skip church. I had plans for home church, but with some house-cleaning duties, those plans got forgotten. That happens to much here...

I learned from the theater that I am not wired to pace with Andrew every place we go to. It didn't make me frustrated or anything, but it just feels like a waste of time and your in an environment deprived of resources. It makes being without your spouse all the more lonely, so again - no church.

The biggest sidetrack was finding a stinking birthday present bad or wrapping paper. We got Christmas going on everywhere - no birthday stuff. I finally made due. Now where's the stinking scotch(TM) tape? All copyrights and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. The bigger boys and I cleaned the van out some and did those end-of-week chores that have to be done.


After dinner (not-to-spicy taco soup from the Hosszu family) we had more baths, just for mom. Toby decided he needed to go potty before we got in the big tub. Good thinking. Daddy got Andrew prepped while Toby took his sweet time. I'm all ok with him taking his time. Get it all out little guy!

Andrew had a ball running around "free" while I prodded Toby on. Not-so-good thinking. Just as I realized it was too quiet, I noticed Andrew standing very still by the tub. He was looking down like he peed all over. Nope - couldn't find any puddles anywhere. Then it hit me. A pungent odor and a 1/2 lb turd came into view. Lucky me it only hit his cheeks and an ankle.

Ladies that are reading this, you may want to grab your hubbies. This part is a view into (my/the) male mind. It may need some explanation. At this point in the story, the instinct/adrenalin takes over and a comprehensive action plan, complete with flow charts, delegations, todo-lists and after action discussion points comes clearly into focus. This is why I hate meetings. Even if my path isn't the right one, once I see a problem, I find a way out. Note to self for kids: coach them on being teachable even when they think they know the way out.

Let me put this into clear perspective:

• One child is standing with dukie between both cheeks and isn't capable of following directions
• Another child is sitting with dukie between both cheeks and is barely capable of following simple directions without coming up with new and unintended ways of following said directions.
• Dukie is not coming off the youngest as intended. Wet-Wipes are in order and are no where in reach.
  
• The steaming pile left by the youngest is touching multiple articles of clothing and the rug. Hazmat crew required.
  
• Time is a factor. The bathwater is chilling. More bathwater is needed and my mother-in-law started the dishwasher. We have a big hot water heater, but with 7 in the house, it does run out.
• I'm in my undies (cause I'm taking a bath with the kids, duh) and concerned about modesty with my mother-in-law in the house.
• The stench is becoming heady. Like Superman near Kryptonite, thoughts clouding, strength weakening.
  

So - with an action plan in hand Gabe's services are employed under the "Emergency poopie act of '09". Change you can REALLY believe in. No Congressional hearings or townhalls needed. Andrew can't be let go of while I call for Gabe to bail me out. I'm sure Andrew is either confused why he's being drug around or giddy Daddy is playing "swing" with him.

Gabe comes to the rescue with wipes in hand. I make turd wizecracks and Gabe nearly wets his pants. Kinda like you're doing right now. One butt+ankle is cleared and deposited in the tub. Gabe watches Andrew while I get Toby squared away. I insist Gabe gets IN the tub, but he won't. He then proceeds to whack his head on the candelabra over the tub. I hate that candelabra.

With Toby decontaminated, Gabe watches both while I grab the turd like a National Geographic Channel host wrestling an Anaconda. It really was that big. Where does this kid pack all that?!?!? I get a little poopie on my fingie and wave it at Gabe, who is cornered like a rat between 2 toddlers. I nearly pee myself at his reaction. Bucky takes the soiled stuff and drops it in the washer. What a team.

Gabe is released and the 3 of us enjoy a quick bath. By the time we get done, the jets are almost covered, so I run some more hot water and we make the jacuzzi run. The boys thought it was great. As we get out, I whack my head on the candelabra. If it hurt my head, that would be one thing. It's those loose, fragile, glass votive holders falling from 4.5' with an infant (or anyone) in the tub that bug me.

I hate that candelabra. Still, it's fun even when it's messy.