Now it's my turn: The end

It's fun even when it's messy
or
I hate the candelabra over the tub

This will probably be my last post for awhile. I'm glad it's a good one :)

Today was a mostly relaxing Sunday. Andrew still doesn't do well alone the nursery, so I opted to skip church. I had plans for home church, but with some house-cleaning duties, those plans got forgotten. That happens to much here...

I learned from the theater that I am not wired to pace with Andrew every place we go to. It didn't make me frustrated or anything, but it just feels like a waste of time and your in an environment deprived of resources. It makes being without your spouse all the more lonely, so again - no church.

The biggest sidetrack was finding a stinking birthday present bad or wrapping paper. We got Christmas going on everywhere - no birthday stuff. I finally made due. Now where's the stinking scotch(TM) tape? All copyrights and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. The bigger boys and I cleaned the van out some and did those end-of-week chores that have to be done.


After dinner (not-to-spicy taco soup from the Hosszu family) we had more baths, just for mom. Toby decided he needed to go potty before we got in the big tub. Good thinking. Daddy got Andrew prepped while Toby took his sweet time. I'm all ok with him taking his time. Get it all out little guy!

Andrew had a ball running around "free" while I prodded Toby on. Not-so-good thinking. Just as I realized it was too quiet, I noticed Andrew standing very still by the tub. He was looking down like he peed all over. Nope - couldn't find any puddles anywhere. Then it hit me. A pungent odor and a 1/2 lb turd came into view. Lucky me it only hit his cheeks and an ankle.

Ladies that are reading this, you may want to grab your hubbies. This part is a view into (my/the) male mind. It may need some explanation. At this point in the story, the instinct/adrenalin takes over and a comprehensive action plan, complete with flow charts, delegations, todo-lists and after action discussion points comes clearly into focus. This is why I hate meetings. Even if my path isn't the right one, once I see a problem, I find a way out. Note to self for kids: coach them on being teachable even when they think they know the way out.

Let me put this into clear perspective:

• One child is standing with dukie between both cheeks and isn't capable of following directions
• Another child is sitting with dukie between both cheeks and is barely capable of following simple directions without coming up with new and unintended ways of following said directions.
• Dukie is not coming off the youngest as intended. Wet-Wipes are in order and are no where in reach.
  
• The steaming pile left by the youngest is touching multiple articles of clothing and the rug. Hazmat crew required.
  
• Time is a factor. The bathwater is chilling. More bathwater is needed and my mother-in-law started the dishwasher. We have a big hot water heater, but with 7 in the house, it does run out.
• I'm in my undies (cause I'm taking a bath with the kids, duh) and concerned about modesty with my mother-in-law in the house.
• The stench is becoming heady. Like Superman near Kryptonite, thoughts clouding, strength weakening.
  

So - with an action plan in hand Gabe's services are employed under the "Emergency poopie act of '09". Change you can REALLY believe in. No Congressional hearings or townhalls needed. Andrew can't be let go of while I call for Gabe to bail me out. I'm sure Andrew is either confused why he's being drug around or giddy Daddy is playing "swing" with him.

Gabe comes to the rescue with wipes in hand. I make turd wizecracks and Gabe nearly wets his pants. Kinda like you're doing right now. One butt+ankle is cleared and deposited in the tub. Gabe watches Andrew while I get Toby squared away. I insist Gabe gets IN the tub, but he won't. He then proceeds to whack his head on the candelabra over the tub. I hate that candelabra.

With Toby decontaminated, Gabe watches both while I grab the turd like a National Geographic Channel host wrestling an Anaconda. It really was that big. Where does this kid pack all that?!?!? I get a little poopie on my fingie and wave it at Gabe, who is cornered like a rat between 2 toddlers. I nearly pee myself at his reaction. Bucky takes the soiled stuff and drops it in the washer. What a team.

Gabe is released and the 3 of us enjoy a quick bath. By the time we get done, the jets are almost covered, so I run some more hot water and we make the jacuzzi run. The boys thought it was great. As we get out, I whack my head on the candelabra. If it hurt my head, that would be one thing. It's those loose, fragile, glass votive holders falling from 4.5' with an infant (or anyone) in the tub that bug me.

I hate that candelabra. Still, it's fun even when it's messy.

Now it's my turn: Day 6

Traffic Cop

That sums up the day. It's really has been like a train station. It's almost too hard to recount where everyone has been during the day.

After noon today, each of the kids have been out of the house at some point. I've neglected to mention that the neighborhood kids have been coming in and out all week too. Having other playmates over hasn't been nearly as bad as someone led me to believe it would be.

Now, Gabe is with a friend at a pool party / homeschool thing. Both Gabe and one of his friends have been falling asleep all day. I don't hate to say I told 'ya so. Life is gonna be rough when he get's up to walk Lexie and 5:30 tomorrow morning. I managed to sneak a nap in after lunch, and then I had to find Ethan. He wasn't far. Phew. Andrew and Toby went off to the Morris's until after lunch.

I talked to Priscila over her Dad's Magic Jack today. It works pretty good. She complained about that lack of dreamy romance in my latest posts. Just get home baby, there's plenty of romance waiting. I won't even dash out the door when you get home :)

Thanks to all who've taken the kids today and Becky & Tony for the chicken. I'm going back to bed.

Now it's my turn: Day 5/6

Exhaustion sets in
Saturday is my usual "let down" day. My mind/body is usually so exhausted from travel and the stress of customers. Not so much is different this week.

Friday morning was supposed to be a relaxing few hours: Denver omlettes in the morning, mow the backyard, baths, lunch and then we would head off to the movies with Gabe's 2 friends. The morning was fine except for the one unexpected thing that must happen. Lexie drug a plastic bag full of broken glass across the yard. It's a painstaking process to find it all - especially since it stalls the mowing and the baths. Mental note: Ethan and Isaac still haven't had theirs....

Gabe had 2 friends over for a birthday party yesterday after lunch. We saw Shorts, which as far as I could tell, earned every bit of it's 45% score on rottentomatoes.com. Really. About 1/2 the kids liked it, the others thought it was "ok". Really, I should say THEY saw the movie. The second I got everyone situated (split a couple pops and a large popcorn between 6 kids), Andrew literally pointed at the exit door. You've got to be kidding me.... He's done fine with Priscila and I in theaters before. I paced the entire time with him in the hallway outside the theater. If I went back inside the theater, he'd start fussing (in a cute, but LOUD way). He's getting to old for fussing. He was asking to not be sitting down in the theater. He would giggle as the theater door would start to close but he could still see the light outside the door. As soon as the light was blocked, he started getting fussy. Mind you, it wasn't the DARKness as much as he wanted to look at the hallway lights. It was also 10 degrees cooler in the hallway.

After the movie, hotdogs 'n stuff before the big boys went off to a youth bowling event. Lexie actually managed to start fetching a little while I BBQed the dogs. Before bed, Toby managed to get another movie out of me so I could focus on Andrew. I love the original Willy Wonka. Gene Wilder may never have played a better part. Why is the world good? Because the candyman makes it taste good. All questions will be submitted in writing. Speak a little louder next time, I'm a little deaf in this ear. Johnny Dep's version ain't got nuthin' on this. Ethan got to go swimming with the neighbors after dinner. Mental note: only Isaac needs his bath.

Isaac played outside, hurt himself a little, and then played legos until he put himself to bed. Isaac's attitude has been significantly better over the past couple days. He's done things for me that usually take 15 minutes of whining and discipline. My heart is blessed.

I tried to watch a few minutes of Glenn Beck. Around 9pm, after I had rewound the same 2 minutes of the show for the 5th time because I was falling asleep, I shut the TV off. I almost NEVER fall asleep before 11.

Gabe and the gang came home around 10:15. Both Lexie and I were dead to the world. The boys startled both of us. She's never barked in front of me before. I'd like to think she she didn't recognize them and was protecting me... It makes me feel warm inside even if it's not reality. Let me have my warm fuzzy. Licks and tail wagging followed after we woke up. From her, not me.

I promptly went to bed after making sure the trio of 12 year olds were "put away for the night". At 5:30 and 6:30 I had to tell the boys to quiet down. I could have cared less that they were playing video games. I put a pillow over my head to drown out the sound of Gabe's crew.

Everyone was playing downstairs nicely by the time I woke up an hour later. Ethan picked up Andrew when he woke up, because "you weren't getting him, Dad". Oops. Shouldn't have had the pillow over my head. While I was making a double batch of pancakes (6 boys, 1 baby, 1 dad - pancakes GONE), Gabe confessed the threesome had never gone to sleep. No wonder I'm so tired.

Brienne has Toby and Andrew now. The other boys are playing in the neighborhood. I need to clean the kitchen and get the second 1/2 of the day ready, but maybe I'll take a nap first.

Now it's my turn: Day 4

I know what all my 100s of blog readers want to hear: life is all sunshine and roses. Priscila's last minute departure, leaving me alone with 5 kids, has been no big deal. Everything's peachy, right?

Hmmmm.... Not today.

Don't get me wrong the sky didn't fall, life hasn't stopped, etc. Meals were made, naps were had, kids got wet (outside and on purpose), owies were bandaged, the backyard even got cleaned up. There were small victories, but it seemed like the small setbacks and gradual wearing down of my nerves outnumbered the victories. Work got in the way first thing in the morning. It only took 90 minutes, but it messed up the start of the day, my attitude, and things never quite got back on track.

Bucky vacuumed the house this evening and Tim Morris came over and watched a movie with me. Thanks to both of you. Bucky has done a massive amount of laundry and housecleaning over the past few days.

I should also give Gabe a lot of credit for what he's done this week. He's being asked to be responsible way beyond his years, but not necessarily his means. Every dad needs a boy like Gabe. I'm sure I'll say the same about the others in time. Gabe is the first and I love seeing him mature and mature in the way I dreamed I could raise boys. In Gabe, I see the grace of the Father on my bad parenting and the hope that I won't mess the others up too bad.

Tomorrow (ummm, today since it's 01:35) is your day Gabe. Happy late birthday.

Now it's my turn: Day 3 and overdue Lexie update

Family update

There wasn't too much exciting going on today. We spent from 8:30-12:00 driving around town. We went to Dad's office and pondered a coup of the West Coast Services Division. After the interim overthrow council decided our takeover goals should be set higher, we opted to postpone the revolution. (just kidding boss). Next was the meat store mom took me to as a kid, we got Gabe's glasses fixed, went to Lowe's & grocery shopping.

Gabe and some boys at camp completely broke his new frames wrestling in their cabin. The councilor tried to superglue everything back together. Groan.... Binyon's was super cool, replaced the lens and the frames for under $40.00. I now have nothing bad to say about them - ever.

The rest of the day was napping and playing. We had a little more of our usual boy trouble today, but I'll skip that. Temporary groundings ensued. TV was missed.

One of Andrew's sippy cups leaked on him, so I found some clothes, in his drawer, for him to wear. I think they were Toby's. He was SOOOO CUTE toddling around in oversized shorts. Noticeably absent from the scene is the sound of Priscila asking me, "what are you thinking!?!?!" Also absent is the sound (yes sound) of her eyes rolling. Like the stones of an old grist mill turning. Wait... Wait... I was wrong. Even from 6,000 miles away, you can hear it.

Shout out to Shelly B. for the chicken. Best way to put honey on chix w/o a glazing, burning mess.

We've been skyping with Priscila in the evening. She says Grandma is sad and needed reminding of how it will be when we go to the Father. Priscila will spend a couple days in her old stomping grounds catching up with her brother Andres's family before heading back to Buenos Aires. Last time we saw them was Nov, 2001.

Priscila really misses Andrew. It's not that he doesn't notice she's gone, but he's just too interested exploring his world. We start off busy and, it seems, even through the infirmities of age we finish busy. I should insert some old cliche about taking time. If you're really reading all these late-night ramblings, don't just read about taking time - take time. Now.

Lexie Update (months overdue)
Lexie has to be 2-3x her original size. We got her at 7 weeks, and she's 15 weeks now. All lean and ready for play. Let me see if I can make a list of her current tricks. Most of them have hand motions, too:

• I have a variety of sounds (hiss, ack) to indicate bad behavior. Better than "no" or yelling.
• "Kennel" for getting in her kennel. Even though she's kennel trained, she sleeps around the house in a couple different places during the day. It's just cute.
• She's house broken (Bano girl?). We've got a spot along one side of the house covered in big cedar chips for her.
• She's so quiet you have to know WHEN to take her "Bano". She'll just stay at the back door and give a little whine. Days go by without a bark from her for anything.
• Sit
• Stand
• Look at me. Brings her eyes to mine. Best trick ever for a breed with no attention span.
• Down (lay down)
• Off (don't jump on me). We're working on this one. Being a lab, it may not happen until after she's a puppy. Too many kids and people coming over.
• Inside and outside for going in/out the back door
• Stay & "break" to release her from stay (learned that online. great idea)
  
• Wait (a short stay we use when opening a car door or intersections)
• Shake
• Heel. Come to my left side by walking around behind me. Also used when walking.
• Turn around. I can circle my finger left or right and she'll follow. Now we are working on verbal "turn left", "turn right"
• Beg (paws your hand for a treat. melts your heart)
• Drop (what's in your mouth). Works when she wants to.
• She rolled over twice for Gabe. Can't get her to repeat it.
• We got 1 day's worth of fetch (go get it, bring it, drop). Now it's just "chase". Dang it.....
• She's 25% when catching treats I toss at her

She nibbles a bit on ears/cheeks when she's excited and licking us, so we're working on "no bite". She's got my fingers a few times early on with those needle-like puppy teeth. If I had to start over, I would have done several things different with mouthing/nibbling and how I hand feed her. Several dog books I have say "don't teach puppies that biting/nibbling is ok" - but forget the details on HOW or discuss prevention.

Toby and Ethan have inadvertently taught her that chasing a little kid (6yrs and younger) is ok. She only half chases Isaac (9 yrs). She managed to pull Ethan's t-shirt, over his head, the other day. I think she ran into him after chasing him, he fell, she got the shirt, and over his head it went. The kids start it by getting her excited and then having her chase them. Right now, it's a matter of training the boys, not the dog. Toby also inadvertently taught her it was ok to sit next to him on the sofa. Big no-no. It only seems to be a problem when she's hyper, and it's so cute it's hard to say no.

Now it's my turn: Day 2

It's 21:19. Today was hot - in the 90s. It's probably 72 now. I've got the Tiki torches going in the backyard while I catch up on a few things and blog. Sipping my iced coffee outside on my "patio" with the torches going in good weather. I've imagined nights like this many evenings I've been on the road. Still, something is missing from this midsummer's night dream. Something Latin. Something Feminine. Someone special.

Reality sets in with a slight waft from the feed lot next door. Neither Latin or Feminine. Where's smell-o-web when you need it?!?!? Web 3.0 anyone?

I found a wasps nest in one of the gazebo posts this afternoon. There were about a dozen when I scared them up. Ick. The wasp spray won't go down into the post except for what drips down from the ceiling. It's too tight to point the can straight down there.

While I'm writing, Lexie has been chasing dying wasps across the cement. Reminds me of my dog, pepper, chasing bees across the yard.

The kids all played good today - I have no complaints. There was a little too much TV in the AM while I managed to get an important document finished for a client. I'm hoping there won't be much aftermath tomorrow. I want to maximize my time with the boys over the next few days. The 4 big kids took Lexie on a walk this morning. 5 minutes after sending them out, I realized what a disaster that could have been. It turned out ok, but I still have to have a talk with the kids about sticking together. Gabe returned alone - after the others returned. Had it been the other way around, I might have lost it.

Both Isaac and Ethan played at some neighbors, got wet in the yard, and Toby managed to not drive me crazy all day. Priscila's mom (Bucky - boo-key) has been here most of the day doing laundry and helping with the kids.

Brienne brought by pizza for dinner. Thanks to all the ladies in Priscila's circle for thinking about us. I will be calling ladies, I'm just now getting a handle on where I am and what's going on.

Brie said she read my blog. Thanks Brie, I have an audience of 2!! Pass the word girls, I want 10 by the end of the week!!!

Back to dreaming. I can only hope the rest of the week goes like this.

Now it's my turn: The first day

Priscila chides me for blogging randomly about the latest political 'haps. As I've wrote before, there's no sense writing a tell-all on work and she's with the kids 99% of the time, so it just makes sense that she blogs about the family.

Now the shoe is on the other foot. It's my turn to live day to day without a spouse.

Her Paternal Grandfather passed away over the weekend. Bummer. We got her and her dad, Domingo, on the airplane to Buenos Aries this morning. She'll be gone for a week. I have all the kids. All five. And the dog.

Since I still have some work obligations I can't get out of this week, maybe I should say I'm wearing BOTH shoes (hers and mine).

It's 21:06 (9:06 PM) PST. All the kids are quiet in their beds with much of the same "go to bed routine". I'm sitting at the top of the stairs hoping I don't have to argue with another boy tonight whilst I blog a few thoughts. I think only a couple are really asleep. Magically, Andrew is quietly awake in his crib lying on his back. I can't find the formula, so a sippy cup of water will have to do. I wonder what's going on in his head. Priscila's flight is due east of the Caymans, between Cuba and Jamaica. She has another 6.5 hours left before landing.

Bucky spent the day cleaning the house while I tried to work from my parent's house. I got lots done (still more to do tonight). She really got things knocked out. Most of the laundry, almost all the rooms, the pantry (which is why i can't find the formula). It was hard to believe what she accomplished.

Ethan spent the weekend with Grandma Light and Grandpa Bill. Gabe and Isaac returned from Signs and Wonders Camp today. No major revelations came back from camp, but I thought these things were worth praising Him:

• Gabe wants to commit to 30 minutes a week of quiet time with the Lord
• Isaac went forward during camp to pray for churches in the NW and received a touch from the Lord. It was a group thing - lots of kids went forward - which does not diminish his personal experience at all.
• They both made friends and even found some in common with kids in the neighborhood.
• They're both excited about going back next year

It's 21:22 and, save the clickty of keyboard and the drone of the house fan, all is quiet.

All is well.